Everything will be OKAY!

Dear World:
One month ago today My H, John K Moroney passed away from a long battle with cancer, and I miss him terribly.
I am still crying at the drop of a hat at random things so I just ask the following things to help me (and basically anyone who has suffered the recent loss of a loved one):
 
1. Please do not tell me he is in “better Place”, “is no longer in pain”, “Mattie and I will be Fine”, “time will heal my pain” etc…. I KNOW all this, but it does not help to hear them right now.
 
2. Please don’t ask what I am going to do with (insert something that belonged to H) and if you can have it. A) not thinking about that yet, B) no
 
3. H’s Things are not like sand on the beach during a vacation. They are NOT anyone’s to take as a memento. This applies to EVERYONE. (and please see #2
 
4. Please do not “drop by” to check on me. Please call first. I am exhausted, my house is full of boxes with things that need to be sorted (so it is a mess), and I am trying to nap an hour a day. I would probably rather meet you for a coffee.
 
5. YES, I am eating. But, who doesn’t love homemade goodies? 😉
 
6. Don’t tell me to call you if I need any help. My brain is mushy right now and I still have no idea what help I need. Be specific. Call me right as you are going to the grocery store and ask if I need anything.
 
Please understand, that my life right now is very complicated emotionally, I am dealing with an incredible amount of paperwork, and very stressful in almost every way imaginable.
I just need a little space right now to get my bearings and breath.
Give me a little time.
Because, I am SURE
Everything will be OKAY.
Love you all.

Hello 2015!

My Blog, Sunset on Mattie’s Pond, started as a suggestion from my sister Maxine on September 15, 2009. It began as a place I could vent and talk about all things Autism.  Since that day, the blog has expanded to talk about not only Autism, but pretty much anything and everything that falls out of my head, and had logged in 6,030 visitors as of this morning, with 640 of them in the last 3 weeks. I have just finished revitalizing and updating most of the blog just this week, with both behind the scenes updates and its appearance, in general.

If you have not taken a gander at the last site in the last, well, half hour or so, ( I just finished!), Please do so and let me know what you think!

Happy New Year and Thanks for coming along on my Journey!

Take a Walk in My Shoes First… Janet Smedile

The following is a post by a friend in regards to some tasteless jokes/status that have been circulating around Facebook.  It is with her permission that I am posting it here.  Sandy Moroney

After seeing some rather nasty posts and one-sided articles over the past two weeks about vaccines I am using my wall to rant a bit.

TRUTH – Many vaccinations contain neurotoxins in the form of preservatives and other such chemicals that are KNOWN to be harmful. The vaccination schedule is much more intensive than it used to be thus some infants / toddlers bodies / brains cannot handle it. Our Steve has a neurological condition that made him vulnerable from birth so I have researched this extensively. Many parents are choosing NOT to vaccinate their children. I understand why but I also have had to think about my child’s susceptibility to disease and the welfare of others. Here is what we did as parents: asked our doctor for preservative free vaccines and had the schedule be spread out. Our pediatrician was great about this. For the later vaccines Steve needed, the doctor did blood work to see if he already had immunity for some of the diseases and we vaccinated accordingly. It does not have to be an all or nothing issue. Also before anyone says that I don’t know about children with conditions thought to be caused or exacerbated by vaccinations or other environmental factors, I have worked with children with exceptional needs off and on since I was 19 as a teacher so I have taken the time to honestly look at this subject. For those of you who have not walked in my shoes – clean your own house before you try to clean mine. Sick of the bitching, sniping and whining on this subject – just like politics – go do something about it instead of posting stupid crap and inappropriate jokes about autism and other neurological disorders.

The Autism Club, It’s No Joke

Some things are important, some are not.
What is important, can sometimes depend on one’s perspective. Where you’re coming from, what kind of cards life has dealt you.
One thing that should always be important is respecting others, even when what they believe to be true is different from what you believe in. This should be basic stuff you learned in Kindergarten, though many who claim to be highly educated still have not learned this lesson.

Some times it is not the journey, but the destination that is important, which brings me to the point of the soap box rant de jour.

This past week, a friend on Facebook came across a post that contained a link that supposedly told how the MMR shots caused Autism.  When you clicked on the link, there was one sentence on the screen that read,  “They F***ing Don’t”.  Some how this was supposed to be a joke, and we all were going to have a good laugh.  Instead of laughter, my jaw dropped.  My brain actually froze for a second, as I could not believe how anyone, ANYONE could think this was remotely funny, or anything but insensitive.  It didn’t even matter to me, the how or why of Autism, but the fact that someone made a joke out of something so devastating to families all over the world. What were they going to do for a follow-up, make a joke that started, “Three Women with Breast Cancer go to a bar…”???  I was told the post “evaporated”, but the damage had already been done.

My point is, in this instance, the how or the why of Autism does not matter.  What matters is that Autism is not in any shape or form, funny.  Yes, laughter is the best medicine, but in this case the punch line was just a punch in the stomach, to those already suffering a devastating medical syndrome, that has no known cure.

You see, there is an unspoken Rule in this Autism Club, and it is no joke.  We have each other’s backs.  No matter what.  And Sometimes it is the only thing we in The Club can count on.

 

Club Autism

Kath has Mattie Signing MORE
Kath has Mattie Signing MORE

The Club.

It is a Club you Never want to be a Member of.

Once *You* (and I mean your child AND Family) are a Member, you are a life member.

The Club Dues are very hard:

You WILL lose friends (they were never true friends)

You will lose LOTS of money (medical evaluations are extremely costly, annual, and most are not covered by insurance)

You will need special and expensive equipment ( adaptive wheel chairs, indoor swings hung from support beams….)

Ordinary babysitters will not do, you will need specially trained staff-usually ASL, CPI and trained in behaviors… this means they are very expensive..

Non-verbal children will need Adaptive Tec equipment to be able to communicate

Then there are: the constant flux of people coming in and out of your home (essentially you will have no privacy), Home trainers, SLP, Evaluate-rs form ARC, DDD, Public School trainers… this list is never-ending…

Stress on you, Stress on child, Stress on everyone.

The Club Benefits:

You will meet and befriend some of the MOST incredible Human beings on the planet… and they will “have your Back”, love you for who you are, and never judge you…

Club Autism.

1 in 50 children in school today.

I bet you know Someone in The Club….