Everything will be OKAY!

Dear World:
One month ago today My H, John K Moroney passed away from a long battle with cancer, and I miss him terribly.
I am still crying at the drop of a hat at random things so I just ask the following things to help me (and basically anyone who has suffered the recent loss of a loved one):
 
1. Please do not tell me he is in “better Place”, “is no longer in pain”, “Mattie and I will be Fine”, “time will heal my pain” etc…. I KNOW all this, but it does not help to hear them right now.
 
2. Please don’t ask what I am going to do with (insert something that belonged to H) and if you can have it. A) not thinking about that yet, B) no
 
3. H’s Things are not like sand on the beach during a vacation. They are NOT anyone’s to take as a memento. This applies to EVERYONE. (and please see #2
 
4. Please do not “drop by” to check on me. Please call first. I am exhausted, my house is full of boxes with things that need to be sorted (so it is a mess), and I am trying to nap an hour a day. I would probably rather meet you for a coffee.
 
5. YES, I am eating. But, who doesn’t love homemade goodies? 😉
 
6. Don’t tell me to call you if I need any help. My brain is mushy right now and I still have no idea what help I need. Be specific. Call me right as you are going to the grocery store and ask if I need anything.
 
Please understand, that my life right now is very complicated emotionally, I am dealing with an incredible amount of paperwork, and very stressful in almost every way imaginable.
I just need a little space right now to get my bearings and breath.
Give me a little time.
Because, I am SURE
Everything will be OKAY.
Love you all.

Autism and October 31st

So here we go again.  Halloween is this Saturday, and having a child with Autism, this holiday can be tricky and not always a treat.

First, there is the costume ordeal.   My Mattie has never been a Disney Fan, so that rules out 75% of all child costumes.  And I NEVER do gory.  GEE, wonder why??  Hmmm…..,I bet it wouldn’t be a good idea to teach a child that takes EVERYTHING literally, that it is OK to pretend to be hurt or play with a knife or that blood is funny.  So, what are we left with?  He loves Dora, but I am NOT dressing my ten year old son like a girl, or her monkey sidekick, for that matter.  And any show on PBS- and he likes them as well-is too young for him to dress up as.  That leaves us to be an Army guy-like his Dad-for the 5th year in a row.  No ammo, or weaponry of any sort, of course, just comfy fatigues and hat, and a bag for his goodies.

Our second Halloween obstacle to overcome is the actual Trick or Treating.  This in our case, requires some preparation, and help from our neighbors.  3 years ago, Trick or Treating was disastrous for us.  Mattie would not go to anyone’s door, and the  few houses he did go up to  he tried to go in their houses, and stay a while.  Thank God, my neighbors know and love him, or this could have been REALLY bad.  The following  year, I tried something new.  The day before Halloween, we first called then visited,the few neighbors I knew would be willing to help us.  A ding dong trial run, you might say.  It was a full dress rehearsal and all went well that night and on the actual holiday.  And then there was last year.  I felt no trial run was needed, as things had gone so smoothly the year before, so we got Mattie into his Army costume after an early dinner, and did a quick run to my mother in laws so she could see how cute he was.  On the way home, in the car, Mattie fell asleep-and slept right through trick or treating.

And here we are again.  Army costume , again.  Our favorite neighbors have already been asking me if we will be coming for candy at  their houses this year.  I hope so, is my reply.  Mattie’s teacher has provided us with some PECS (pictures with words) prompts to help us along.  And Dad is ready to walk the neighborhood with his favorite junior officer again this year.  We hope.  Stay tuned.  I’ll let you know how it goes.  Or doesn’t.